Double Entendre

Could you fill the empty space inside of me?

Make me change into something more than I could be

On my own?

Could you take the pain out of my heart?

I’d forget it all if I was smart…

But something deep inside of me

won’t let go no matter how much I plead.

Everything I am, I’ve always been that way:

all alone, talking too loud, feeling afraid.

It doesn’t matter how many years go by.

It doesn’t matter how many tears are cried.

I hold on with a grip that is so strong,

hating myself, not admitting something’s wrong.

And water can’t wash away what I am

Nor thoughts that pour out like a broken dam

Past my mouth, past my eyes and I drown.

It all wraps around me tight and holds me down.

I die a little more inside.

But never change, more from fear than pride.

What will I be if I don’t feel like this?

Now that I’m gone, will I be missed.

I never wanted to be free.

I only wanted love that would bind me

to a place, to a someone good,

For him to change me if he could

into a thing that he could hold close…

into the thing he wanted the most.

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