I don’t want to write.

I don’t want to do.

I don’t want to stand here alone and without you.

I don’t want to talk

or say I was wrong.

Or say my life’s nothing now that you’re gone.

I don’t want to fess up

to what I should have said.

I don’t want to mention how much it runs through my head.

I don’t want to admit

how I look every place

Try to find what you were in every stranger’s face.

I don’t want to think

what I already know:

That I’ll never find you, no matter how far I go.

If I can’t see you,

If your face is lost.

I refuse to go on, it’s too high a cost.

5 thoughts on “Refusal

    • Thank you so much! I did check you out (and am now your faithful follower of both blogs), and you may by now be aware that I am comment stalking you, because you are a genius! I completely understand about not liking poems that rhyme (for me it’s because they tend to become cheesy and the imagery gets muddled), so your compliment is high praise to me indeed! Again, thank you, thank you, thank you.

  1. You can can stalk my bogs 24/7. I love comments and I will be following you too. fyi – the first 19 posts of ‘coconutspeak’ is entirely about me and my life. Take a look if you can.

    • I am in the middle of reading right now…thank you for letting me know your background! I am at the point of introductions of your aunts and uncles and cousins (Mas familia)…you make me want to meet them all! The explanation of coconut really hit my heart…I can’t fully understand what you went through, but the difficulty of reconciling the person you are on the inside with the way other people see you is something I continue to struggle with. It’s a great challenge in life to find out who we are and to be ok with it. I have to go back and read more now…you have me enthralled!

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