I am forcing you to take the place of one who is gone forever.
He was the standard by which all other men will be judged.
You are not him.
You never will be.
But your ways reflect his as well as I can ever hope.
You will never love me like he did,
nor will I love you fully, in fact,
so much less it can hardly be called love at all.
And yet, I will pursue you as ardently as any lover could.
I will stalk you like helpless prey
because I need this.
I will make you golden in my eyes,
because without him, I am nothing.
But with you, at least I can keep breathing.
They will never understand the feelings I have for you,
hatred and gratitude mixing together
till they can not be distinguished,
till they are one.
He is always in my heart, and part of me is with him.
My heart has no meaning in this thing between you and me.
And yet, you are a thought tangled into every thing I think,
the air that pushes into my lungs,
keeping me alive when it seems
I no longer wish to be.