All along I had thought to say farewell.
By the time I managed to say it, I knew it was wrong.
Constantly I battled myself,
determined to do what I thought was right while
Eternally dreaming we would be together and
Frustrated by your choices.
Gladly I fall into dreamless sleep
hoping to wake up with you beside me.
I stab myself to death with wishes
Just to make my mind stay sane.
Keep up the mask:
Lie to myself and everyone who sees me.
Molested by memories,
never giving myself peace,
otherwise I might forget the
person I had always meant to keep.
Quietly I cry myself to sleep.
Return to me when you can.
Stop hating me for things I can’t undo.
Throw your arms around me…
useless pleas are all I have.
Vengeful, indecisive girl,
what the truth is you will not know.
Executioners come to relieve you.
yesterday as meaningless then as the rest.
Zoos full of wild thoughts crowd the dying brain.